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Emma’s Here (April 2011)


Newborn Emma

It was finally time to meet our daughter. As a mother, when you see your baby, they are perfect! Despite all my medical knowledge, and being assured it was a developmental fluke, I still could not help but worry it was something I had done to cause all of this.

Coming to terms with everything and moving forward was extremely difficult as I worried throughout my pregnancy about everything. Things that were pointless but nonetheless seemed important to me brought me to tears on a whim. I have not really said this out loud to many people, but I will say it now to hopefully help other mothers know that it is okay to have these thoughts. I lived it and I believe it is a normal emotion.

 

 

My biggest fear revolved around those first few minutes after birth and beyond of how I would look at my daughter. What exactly would I see in her? Would I look at my new baby girl and only see what she didn’t have? Would I look at her and only see her bowed tibia (leg)?

Emma's First Day At DaycareI think it is a natural worry.

The sad fact is that while I conducted my research the only pictures available on the Internet represented extreme cases and were very difficult to view. As an Emergency Room physician I can handle some pretty rough stuff, but it is different situation when you are talking about your own child.

I never really shared my feelings because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

Chunky Monkey :)

Emma was born on April 21, 2011. When Emma was born on April 21, 2011 all my fears went away as she was the precious tiny baby girl who we had been waiting and praying for, and she was perfect!

During my hospital stay, we met with Dr Albright so he could now see my baby’s foot and ankle and all my hopes had been replaced with my greatest fear. He recommended amputation based on Emma’s clinical exam and X-rays. I lost it. My baby girl wasn’t even 2 days old and we were entertaining the idea of an amputation! My heart sank, as did my husband’s. Dr Albright did recommend we go home, enjoy our new little bundle, and take time to make our decision. Although it was best to reach a decision in the first year, nothing had to be decided immediately.

So we took our baby Emma home and did what all new parents do; we took an insane amount of pictures and loved on her!