A Grandmother’s Collection of Personal Experiences and Spiritual Growth
An undeniable bond develops between a mother and daughter when a daughter is expecting her first child. My story begins with that special day when my daughter and son-in-law were scheduled for her ultrasound at 20 weeks of pregnancy, to reveal the sex of their baby.
It was Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving 2010, and our plan was to meet afterwards in our city park, and celebrate our secret! We had an elaborate plan for Thanksgiving Day dinner at my sister’s house where during dessert, a cake made by my daughter-in-law, would proudly display either pink or blue filling inside. My husband and I couldn’t wait to see the reaction of our Italian family and hear all the celebratory well wishes while toasting with our favorite family drink, Prosecco! What a great way to celebrate a long holiday weekend.
“One never knows what life has in store for you”, is a common expression, and while we have all heard it, we may not always be ready for those unexpected events.
I finally received the call I had been anxiously awaiting for from my daughter. With a trembling voice she informed me that her baby “girl” did not have a fibula. I had no idea what a fibula was or where it was located, but somehow it was missing. My daughter, who is a physician, said she would call me later and quickly hung up. I was stunned and did not understand what had just happened, but I knew I had to be strong.
Shaken and determined, my search for information began. Missing fibia, missing tibula, what did my daughter say? I had no idea what I was typing! I noticed a tag line called “The Case of the Missing Fibula” at a website called journeymama.net, written by a mother whose unborn daughter had the same birth defect. I quickly learned in one hour that the typical treatment for this condition called “Fibular Hemimelia” was amputation! I was horrified and sickened. In her article she gave the name of Dr John Herzenberg, Chief Orthopedic Surgeon at the International Center for Limb Lengthening at Sinai Hospital of Baltimore, and he was considered one of the experts in this field. Amputation couldn’t happen to my granddaughter.
I felt I had been guided on my search that morning. Could this have been my first sign that the Lord was watching over my daughter and her unborn child through me? I had a doctor’s name! How did I find it so quickly?
While waiting for my daughter and son-in-law to call and meet us in the park, my husband and I stopped at a coffee shop. Suddenly my cell phone rang with an unrecognizable number. I was not going to answer as my head was reeling, but what if it was my daughter calling from the hospital? I answered and there was a recording that said “Hello, this is Father Walsh’s prayer line, and because you have so generously given in the past, and because it is the beginning of the Advent season, if you have a special prayer intention, leave it on the message line and Father will pray for you. Have a blessed Advent season”.
I was caught off guard, and left a message to please pray for our unborn grandchild and I hung up the phone. Amazed by the call, I told my husband I had never received that kind of phone call. “What was God telling me”, I asked my husband? This was a second sign that God was reaching out to me, except I didn’t know it at the time.
Thanksgiving was bittersweet when the pink filling was revealed in the cake. While we were all thrilled, our hearts were filled with fear of the unknown, and heartache for what my daughter and son-in-law had ahead of them, not to mention the fate of our unborn granddaughter. I was determined with every fiber in my body that I would find a solution for our granddaughter, and that it would not be amputation. Nothing would stop me.
Monday morning came quickly and my husband and I left for our office in our separate cars. My usual ten minute morning drive consisted of listening to CNN on satellite radio, but on that particular morning I needed something different. I changed genres on my radio to music, and after switching through several stations, I stopped on “Praise” and heard a song with lyrics “I will be there to hold you. You won’t be alone”. As I arrived to my office building, tears were streaming down my face. I was being comforted by the song still playing on the radio when I noticed my husband walking toward my car. I signaled him to listen to the song playing on my radio when he said, “Oh, you’re listening to “Praise”, “I will be there to hold you”. I was speechless!
My husband only listens to sports radio every day. What made him switch to a Christian music channel? We walked into the office smiling because we had a secret, a special bonding moment. I felt God’s presence. I felt He wanted me closer to Him, and to get to know Him better. This was my third sign God was calling me to have faith and be strong, and now, he was calling my husband, too.
I told our family priest about all my coincidences, and he said there is no such thing as a coincidence, but rather the Holy Spirit, the “Communicator” was calling me and making these things happen. Wow, I never thought I would get such a personal invitation!
My daughter had an excellent pregnancy and our Emma was born in April 2011. She was breathtakingly beautiful and her eyes were soulful. Emma was two months old at her first visit with Dr. Shawn Standard, Head of Pediatric Orthopedic Surgery at the International Center for Limb Lengthening, and it was unexpectedly positive, and we were exhilarated! My daughter and son-in-law had hope. Even though Emma had a missing fibula, she had good ankle stability and amputation would not be considered! Her tibia was bowed and surgery would straighten it by wearing an external fixator, and Emma would have several future leg lengthening surgeries, but she would keep her leg and foot.
God had a plan, and I didn’t know what it was. If it was to inform the world of this condition, and if other parents and grandparents could be helped, then that was my mission.
Emma had her four-hour surgery days after her first birthday, and all went well. Two weeks after surgery, she had her post-operative appointment. The doctor checked the healing of her tibia, which had been straightened from its slightly bowed position, and checked her ankle, after the “super ankle” procedure. Thankfully, Emma got the thumbs up to return to FL for three months of healing. Relieved and excited by the great news, we walked to our car.
During our stay in Maryland, we decided to play a “pop” station on the car radio to please everyone. The volume was always low because we were always chatting about something. As we drove away, exhausted from keeping Emma occupied for two hours, the radio volume mysteriously began playing at a high level. We had not touched the dial when exiting the car that morning. What began playing on the “pop” radio station was Laura Story singing “Blessings”, and her words were:
“What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near? What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise?”
Hearing this song and concentrating on the message of the words being sung, I knew for certain at that moment, the Lord called me for the fourth time, and I unmistakably heard Him.
I had the courage to challenge conventional medical standards and search for alternate solutions for my granddaughter’s condition. With divine intervention, the Lord showed me His love by calling me on the phone; talking to me through the radio twice (that’s quite impressive); and taking my hand that first day on my computer and pointing the way to the doctors that could save Emma’s leg. Emma’s life will forever be changed in a positive way because my daughter and son-in-law were also not afraid to seek alternatives. They made a tough decision but one we all know will be in Emma’s best interest. My family and every friend who has prayed with us on this journey, has changed. I have been told no request is too big for the Lord and that we should not limit Him.
I have learned that we must be bold and be our own medical advocate, and never, give up, even when we don’t have a medical background and cannot spell our medical condition.
This was the journey God had planned so I would build a closer relationship with Him, through my daughter and Emma’s journey.
Written by: Julie Burkey, proud to be Emma’s Grandma
Should you want more information on the Orthopedic doctors at Sinai Hospital of Baltimore, International Center for Limb Lengthening, Rubin Institute of Advanced Orthopedics, please let me know. My wish is to share this information so parents can make an informed decision.
Saving a Limb is preserving a “quality of life”. Amputation is a life changer, and should be considered when nothing else is available.